Reinventing Myself After 50 (with Beyoncé, Buddhism & a Lot of Swearing)

Starting over after 50 isn’t always graceful. Sometimes it’s mascara-streaked tears, stubborn intuition, and dancing in the ruins of your old life... in heels.

Listen to the deep dive:

Letting go is where the chaos begins

I Marie Kondo’d my life.

Not just my closet. My whole life.

Relationships, routines, jobs, social media, old dreams… Gone.

I metaphorically held each one and asked, “Does this still spark joy?”

And when the answer was “no,” I let it go.

Sounds brave, right? Empowering?

It was—until it wasn’t.

Because here’s what no one tells you about letting go: it stirs up a whole lot of shit.

Emotional shit. Financial shit. Existential shit.

And once you start, you can’t go back.

You’re standing there with your arms full of dreams and regrets, and no instruction manual on what comes next.

The truth about reinvention

I used to think reinvention would feel like a clean, calm reset.

Like a makeover montage.

It doesn’t.

It looks more like sitting on your bedroom floor, in your favorite leggings, crying into your third cup of tea while listening to Beyoncé.

Not the glam Beyoncé.

The Lemonade-era version—the one who walks through fire in heels, still singing her truth.

That Beyoncé? She's my spirit guide.

There’s something about her strut.

Like the whole world’s burning behind her and she just... keeps walking.

That’s what I channel when I want to quit.

Because some days, I’m not a queen. I’m a mess. But I still walk.

Trusting the whispers in the mess

One of my favorite Buddhist quotes says:

“Suffer what there is to suffer, enjoy what there is to enjoy, and regard both suffering and joy as facts of life.” – Nichiren Daishonin

It’s from a letter written hundreds of years ago, and it still cuts through all the noise.

It’s not saying, “Think positive!” or “Manifest your dream life!”

It’s saying: Be here for all of it.

Feel the pain. Feel the pleasure. But don’t be swallowed by either.

And that’s been my survival strategy.

Especially when I’m months into the “new me” and still unsure where it’s all going.

I’ve had a lot thrown at me lately.

Some of it was unfair.

Some of it is my own doing (thanks to over-giving and ignoring red flags).

The signs that keep you going

In the middle of all that chaos, I’ve had strange little moments of encouragement.

• A compliment from a stranger.

• A friend reaching out with the exact words I needed.

• A song I hadn’t heard in years that played at the perfect moment.

• A podcast guest casually saying the truth I’d been avoiding.

Sometimes I think—maybe the universe is sending me signs.

And sometimes I think—

“Girl. That’s just confirmation bias.”

(You know, when your brain only notices what it wants to believe.)

Then another voice chimes in—

“Or maybe it’s optimism bias.”

(That tendency to overestimate good outcomes and underestimate risks.)

So... how do I know I’m on the right path?

I don’t.

But here’s what I’ve learned:

Your intuition doesn’t come with a receipt.

It doesn’t shout. It whispers.

And if you get quiet enough, you can hear it.

Here are 5 ways to reconnect with your intuition:

• Sit in nature. No phone. Just breathe, birds, trees.

• Listen to my body. Tight shoulders? Gut flutter? It’s all intel.

• Notice synchronicities. Repeated numbers, patterns, and phrases.

• Pay attention to music. The right lyrics find you.

• Reduce distractions. Noise kills clarity.

I’ll admit—I’ve ignored signs. Plenty.

The painful lesson I ignored

Like when a friend showed every red flag imaginable—and I still let him rent my flat.

Why? Because saying no felt too hard.

Guess what happened?

Disaster.

Bills unpaid. Late rent. Trust shattered. Stress. Regret.

That moment taught me this:

Intuition is kind, not loud.

Ignore it, and it lets you learn the hard way.

That’s when I realized—reinvention isn’t just about building a new life.

It’s about refusing to abandon yourself during the process.

You didn’t come this far just to come this far

You don’t need all the answers. You don’t need a 10-year plan.

You just need the courage to keep moving.

That’s what Kristi Keller from Wildhood Wanted reminded me of on the Life Reimagined podcast.

She left her job, sold her stuff, and hit the road.

Not because she had a roadmap—but because she had a feeling.

She told us:

“We didn’t come this far just to come this far.”~

Kristi Keller

Let that sink in.

You didn’t go through all of this—shed all these layers, make all these brave choices—just to stop now.

You keep going.

You stumble forward.

You walk through the mess with your head high and your faith in yourself.

You don’t have to know what’s next. You just have to trust that forward is still the right direction.

And that line lives rent-free in my head.

Because if you’re crying in your car wondering if starting over was a huge mistake—you’re not lost. You’re just in the middle.

And the middle is messy.

But the middle is where the magic starts.

Need proof?

A real-life story that proves it

Look at Cheryl Strayed.

She left behind grief, divorce, self-doubt—and set out to hike the Pacific Crest Trail alone.

No experience.

Just a broken heart and a gut instinct that she needed to change her life.

She followed her intuition, even when it made no sense.

It led her to healing, clarity, and the memoir Wild that has inspired millions.

You can read more about her journey here:
📖 Cheryl Strayed Interview with Oprah – Wild

So no, it’s not just me.

Women everywhere are walking through fire—and finding peace in the ashes.

You don’t have to be certain.

You don’t have to be fearless.

You just have to keep going.

One brave, slightly shaky step at a time.

Suffer what there is to suffer. Enjoy what there is to enjoy. And don’t let either stop you from becoming who you’re meant to be.

Over to you:

Have you ever ignored your intuition and regretted it?

Or followed a whisper and ended up somewhere unexpected... and beautiful?

Tell me your story. Drop a comment.

Let’s walk through this mess together. 👣

Thanks for reading and have a good week 🌹.